Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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