I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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