I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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