hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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