P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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