I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
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Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
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You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Shame - the story of my life.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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