it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
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he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
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Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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