You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize