Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I intend to get homeless drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize