I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize