i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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