we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
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After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
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Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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