Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize