Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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