Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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