I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize