Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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