you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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