I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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