home. puking in laundry basket.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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