seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize