And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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