Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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