we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
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My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
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If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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