I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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