next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just invented taco cereal.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
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I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
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you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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