I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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