Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize