All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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