make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
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I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
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In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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