so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
What drink are we having for lunch?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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