It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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