it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
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btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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