This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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