It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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