I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize