So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
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The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
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The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
There are leaves in my underwear?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize