Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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