Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts

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  (908): I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts http://tfl.nu/1w8r
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  (845): View more from New York

  he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.

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  (845): he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex. http://tfl.nu/a138
  Replies (60) Good night (2148) Bad night (7454) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people

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  (203): I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people http://tfl.nu/sj5w
  Replies (14) Good night (5335) Bad night (468) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.

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  (613): I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went. http://tfl.nu/jkvp
  Replies (14) Good night (4813) Bad night (1010) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.

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  (403): Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl. http://tfl.nu/u7lt
  Replies (22) Good night (4286) Bad night (1337) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed

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  (828): i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed http://tfl.nu/hltv
  Replies (3) Good night (1358) Bad night (2127) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever

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  (814): He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever http://tfl.nu/aoid
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.

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  (732): You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire. http://tfl.nu/i4tp
  Replies (7) Good night (1466) Bad night (574) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES

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  (604): We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES http://tfl.nu/h0lt
  Replies (1) Good night (1164) Bad night (330) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.

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  (914): I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements. http://tfl.nu/p1je
  Replies (8) Good night (1298) Bad night (351) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay

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  (310): If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay http://tfl.nu/sayw
  Replies (10) Good night (1277) Bad night (474) Order T-Shirt
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.

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  (574): I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed. http://tfl.nu/w2ei
  Replies (7) Good night (1488) Bad night (271) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.

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  (315): There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate. http://tfl.nu/2ksi
  Replies (7) Good night (1452) Bad night (263)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.

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  (913): Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth. http://tfl.nu/51lq
  Replies (3) Good night (448) Bad night (268) Order T-Shirt
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.

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  (787): It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life. http://tfl.nu/p96v
  Replies (1) Good night (448) Bad night (145) Order T-Shirt

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