do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize