so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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