M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize