i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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