This dress was meant to end up on your floor
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
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