I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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