i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize