i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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