Your face is a jimmy john
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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