are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize