meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
third nipple confirmed
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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